Life of A Normal Guy

Hope

2011-08-20T22:31:00.000-07:00

Its that time again where I once again, open this webpage and think, my, how long has it been. Since the first wordings I wrote in early Jan, the conflict at work is still not resolved. It is only growing worst with the guns pointing at me more. However, its only a week away before all these becomes history. However, this one week is crucial as it will spark animosity and unhappiness in all. I really don't understand how things turned to the worst. I guess disappointing acts keep repeating itself, causing one to turn. I'm really tired of the situation, and still have to face this day by day.

Nevertheless, hope is just around the corner. The sounds of little tethering feet will soon arrive and the burden of "the" work situation will soon disappear. I'm looking forward to it :D. My baby boy will come, and as per the Chinese believe, an array of good fortunes will come my way. I feel overwhelmed. My first born. My son. I will teach him the ways. Ways of the truth in this world. Ways of being a good person. Not as what his father has witness in this world. I want him to be happy. I want him to be realistic. I want him to know, his parents love him very much, and that in this world, there are times where there will not be a rainbow of smiles greeting him after a storm. I want him to be strong and brave. I want him strive in this world, and touch those with his presence in the future. He will be my legacy before I perish, and he will be my son.

I hope that in the future when he's old enough to discover his old man's blog, that he give a thought that his old man has thought about him every second, even before his even born. Son, if your reading this, remember that dad will always be there for you and we (your mom and I) love you very much. Be a good person. Nothing is more important than having a heart of gold. The world may treat you differently, but as long you know that deep inside you have done good, you have made us proud.

You currently are in your mom's womb, and have been very strong. I can sense that, and I believe you will be a strong person in this world in the future. Follow your heart in what's right and condone the bad. Remember, we reap what we sew. For now, mom and dad will be waiting to see your smiles and protect you as you grow. So my son....

加油......生活好....爸妈在等你。

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Message from Life of a Normal Guy：

Be brave little one and live life to the fullest~

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New Horizon ~ New Year

2011-01-07T01:13:00.000-08:00

The Dawn of a New Year ~ 2011

Once again another year has past. Can't believe that it has been a year ago since I remember 2010 just arrived. When I was younger, I always looked forward to years passing as quick as possible as I wanted to get out of school. I didn't really realise nor appreciated the great times I had at school and how life now is passing by so quickly that I sometimes am hesitant to look forward to another year.

But life moves on. We work. We toil and we hope that maybe that one lucky lottery ticket would strike us a lifetime. Work life can be complicated. At times its not really the type of work, but rather the influence of people around you. It is hard to envisage a work environment without any social conflict in interest. Everyone has to watch their back and their interest. Who watches ours?

I never liked conflict, but seem to face them on a daily basis sometimes. It is the nature of my work I would have thought. Sometimes I am really sick of stuff, and really hope that I never had any financial issues to worry about. But life is like that, we all work hard, and toil long hours in the day, just to put food on the table and a roof over our heads and our families. Its a sad life at times. But what rights do I have to complain ? I am getting paid fairly for the work I'm doing. Compared to other more unlucky countries, my job life may be something to die for. I guess its the mentality that its always greener on the other side.

I am uncertain of the future or what to expect. All I can do is continue to ride this journey call life, and experience the pain, joy and indifference that life has to offer. I hope that the future me reading this one day, would look back and reminiscent the good ole' days before.

To the future me, well done to have survived so far and I hope that you are living in an even better life to what I experience today :)

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A message from Life of a Normal Guy:

Remember your past, learn from your mistakes, and look forward to the future.

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Destiny

2010-10-09T03:05:00.001-07:00

What is our destiny ?

Are we humans destined for greater things ?

Or are we just destined to live and die ?

I was watching a documentary regarding the galaxy and the outer solar system. It is amazing what is out there. The world we live in is nothing in comparison to what is out there. The knowledge we humans possess; logic and science can never explain the wonderful phenomenons that happens out of this little microscopic world of ours.

Super novas, Mega novas, and ultra novas, where a beam of light would just exist out of no where in space, creating light that is unexplainable. With all of our understandings of the world, one can never explain what causes all these. In the greater measures of things, we are only a speck of micro-organism as compared to the vast galaxy out there. The documentary is unbelievable. It is something that made me realize that life is boundless. So many possibilities, so many knowledge. Do we really understand what we are here for ?

We make decisions everyday. We feel different emotions. We live and we die. Are we just bounded by these ?or are we destined to live and die ?

Watching that documentary, I realize now that there are more beautiful and meaningful things in life than just ours. It is the nature of life. The beauty of life itself. I often feel thankful to be living, experiencing and learning about all these magnificent phenomenons. Life is short. A mere 100 years plus is nothing to compared to the amount of light years distant it is to the end of the galaxy. We are only here a short time to experience love, sadness, anger, happiness, and ultimately, peace. We should grasp hold of these experience, to so when we have our last breaths of life, we turn back the memories and say, " I will always remember.", "I will never forget the day I fell in love.", " I will always remember my parents sweat and tears.", and "I never regretted living life.".

Since young, I always looked upon the stars above, and thought what was beyond these sheets of skies. Is it just a vast of empty spaces or is there where god lies ? Now thinking about it, god does exist. He exist within us, beyond us, around us. He is everything that we experience visually, autistic-ally, emotionally, and mentally. We have to appreciate the creation of his, and learn to admire the beauty that he created. Life is one of them, so therefore don't forgo it. Learn from it, understand it,... live it.

The moment I one day take my last breath, I believe god will take me to the end of the universe. To experience the beauty at the end of the galaxy. Fulfilling my life experience with a simple beauty of phenomenon light that is undiscovered by mankind. I will see it one day. And till that day, I will appreciate every moment of life. Preparing for it.

I love life. Bad or good. I love the life that is given to me. I enjoy it. I dread it. But ultimately I love it. Time passes, we should waste no time living it. Live life, enjoy and die. No regrets and embrace our destiny. Good or bad, it is we who makes it.

Life is interestingly enough that, although we are destined to come to an end one day, we can change our fates to how we go through it. Remember, we can lead life happily or we can lead a dreadful life, ultimately we will come to pass of our lives. So why not live happily and leave no regrets. Wouldn't that be the perfect ending ?

Wouldn't it ?

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A message from Life of a Normal Guy:

Live life with no regrets. Appreciate it. Love it. Experience it.

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Time Machine

2009-09-06T05:55:00.000-07:00

Everyday at work, we argue the fact that time travel was possible, and we can only go beyond the future but not dwell back to the past. Whether this is a proven theory or not, remains a mystery until someone discovers the existence of a flux capacitor.

My work involved a lot in predicting the future. Planning the best outcome. Out wittingly know everything that is going to happen in a particular area and plan for contingencies which might or might not happen. In fact, I've been thrown in such environment that I could actually see the future by predicting what would happen next based on historical data and events. Its like going to the future, but not being there. One can see where the future lies in my shoes, but yet could not experience it. This is due to existence of another dimension. The Fourth Dimension - where one can see through time, but not be able to experience through time.

There has been a lot of flaws that goes around at work. A lot of daily requirements. A lot of mission impossible tasks. However, how can one complete all in just a short duration of finite time. Especially when a lot of guessing works comes into play. Well, the one thing that keeps me sane for the time being, is to know that tomorrow is another day. We struggle hard and long in our working days, trying to earn a living, trying to achieve a sense fulfillment, and learning the ways of the society.

I am a bit disappointed at how things go at times. But opportunity comes during turmoil. I believe each and every one that our time will come. It is just a matter of waiting for that one chance, or opportunity to arrive. So we have to hang on. Being a Gen Y, I still do believe that we need to stand up for what we believe, but having a Gen X mentality, there are boundaries of what we can or can not do. One day everyone will have a chance to shine. And that one day will come. (Year 2009).......

(Year 2010)........
Its been a year since my written the above 4 paragraphs, and till today I still believe in what was written a year before. Nothing change in my life so far. However, things are getting harder and harder to cope as we chug along this path call life. Every morning, I wake up in dreadfulness, but scream in excitement for tomorrow to come. We learn, we grow, we forgive, we forget, we cherish, we plan, we disappoint, we curse, but at the end, we find. We find who we are, deep within our souls. We search, for what we call, the meaning of life. Have everyone reflect on what they have done in these years ? Were we a different person a year before ? Were we wrong of others ? Or were we just gullible to think that life is always sewn to perfection that we get disappointed more and more as we chug a long :).

Since writing this post in 2009 and ending it in 2010, I realise that life is never the way we always want it to be. However, the life we chosen can still have something to celebrate for. Do we all ask too much at times ? Maybe. Or are we too blind to see the fruits of life that we have beared within the path that we have chosen ?

I'm keen to see what type of learning's and person I would be in the year to come. What will have changed? Will it be good or bad ? Or would it be another hurdle to go through in some other life experiences. It yet to be seen. Till then....(stay tuned)

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A message from Life of A Normal Guy:
Await to experience the future and predict not our destined path, for time will reveal all of who we really are.

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A Journey till The End

2008-12-31T07:31:00.000-08:00

When a person starts a journey, a person is yet to end it. Every step, every decision of path. All would contribute to one's journey in life.

An inspiring music allowed me to see through the blue sky today. The song is called "Pure Feeling".
It was an interesting song. Recently I had a lot in my mind. I felt as though I was not in peace. I wasn't relax. I was stressed, frustrated and busy. I never liked these feeling. All I wanted was to be happy and enjoy life. However, today, whilst I was walking out to work, I listened to this song. And I "listened". I looked up to the blue heaven sky, and I thought to myself,

"How many more steps will I reach my journey. Is life just a repetition of an everyday occurance?"

As I was walking up the sloppy hill to my destination, it suddenly struck me....
We are walking up a hill in life, looking at the heaven's and hoping to reach. Similar to life, where we struggle to pursuit an eternal feeling called happiness. Ironically, I felt as I had wings to soar above the heavens as I climbed the hill but came to realize that it was nothing more than a mere illusion in life. The heaven's was in front of us, yet we imagine chasing something that was not reachable. In a matter of fact, it is not our journey to reach the heavens, but rather to experience the beauty of heaven from afar.

As I realize this and once again looked up the majestic blue skies, I see that I didn't need to chase after heaven, heaven was presented right in front of me. The music to my ears amplified that feeling. I felt free from the world. Relax. Unbounded by the law of the universe. I was in heaven.

Although it was only a brief 5 minutes experience. I realize that similarly to heaven, happiness is always in front of us. We don't really need to chase it, it is just there, ready to be experience at any time or day. It made me realize, in order to find happiness, one must first realize that happiness is actually in us. We just got to realize it and not hazed by the fact that happiness comes with a price or return from something else.

I really would like to see the heaven's again one day. Although it was just a blue sky, what I really saw was........

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A message from Life of A Normal Guy: Happiness is in front of us, appreciate and experience it
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Dear God

2008-06-14T05:15:00.000-07:00

Dear God,

Saturday, 14th June 2008.

My wife is unhappy today. She lost not only to a badminton game, but also to herself. I feel sad in a way not because we lost a game, but rather because of her losing her confidence. I can honestly say that she plays well. But I really hope that she be patient enough and strive to continue working hard at to accept that losing is the first step to success. I know god that deep inside she is really good, just sometimes have a temper... but please give her the strength to slowly change rather than giving up. I will support her. I will comfort her. But I also want to give her confidence. Confidence not only in others but also in herself. Believing that she can do it. I hope the words of others does not affect her, for words of mouth come and go, and sometimes does not mean anything.

So please give her strength

From the prayers of the man who love her

I believe, do you ?

2008-03-30T03:46:00.000-07:00

A story about trust, might sound boring. A story of my life trust might sound meaningless. So I'll tell you a story about something that inspires. And it starts with a man being stranded on an island far far away from civilization.....

Chapter 1 - Realization

A simmer of light came out from the darkness of my sight.

"Where am I ?" I asked myself....

The taste of the salty ocean was around my lips and sipping into my tongue.

"What happened?" I asked myself again.....

As I awoke, I hear the ocean waves of the sea and started to feel the cold ocean water sipping
between my shivering knees. I was lost....

"Had I lost my memory..? " again I asked....

I wandered to the shores of the hot burning sun, and came to realize that I was stranded. Stranded alone on an island surrounded by a vast ocean sea which isolated the island from civilization and outside communication.

I had no where to go. I had no one to turn. I was lost. Lost in the middle of this infinite sea.

Chapter 2 - Loneliness

It has been two week since I've come to this island. No signs of life was apparent here. No animals. No peoples. Just no one......

Everyday I have struggled to find food. I tried to lite a fire. I tried to hunt for fishes. I tried catching birds. I tried everything to survive. But to no avail in these past 2 weeks could I have had a decent cooked meal on the island.

For the past 2 weeks I have been just eating cocunut meat and its milk. That was my only source of food. And it was not many left could I use to consume them. I was running short of food and water. I'm come to a term that I'm going to die here one day of hunger. I was not in control in anything. The only thing I had in control was to live or die.

Chapter 3 - Suicide

Standing on a cliff so high as the empire state building, I had gotten a few shards of branches together to make a rope for me to hang myself and stop my misery on this dreadful island. It was a very high cliff and a long long way down. As I put the rope around my neck, I paused. Thinking was it all worth it. The pain, the agony, the instinct to survive and keep breathing.....

And when all was lost, I looked up at the ocean sunrise, and there it was... the big yolk of life. Unpredictable. Mysterious and yet beautiful. There is more to life than the luxuries I have once had. And with all these gone, not only have I lost my sense of pride in living, but also my pride in surviving.

I was worst off than an animal. At least, they strive to survive no matter what! And me, a human, with all smarts and hands to operate tools and hunt, coundn't even have the will to survive....

"What have i become ?", I sigh.....

Chapter 4 - Hope

A year has past since my near suicidal experience. I have learned how to make a fire, avoid the unpredicting weather of the sea, and also created tools for survival. It was a vast improvement. It was all in the name of survival. I had started to wandered the island to look for other source of water. I used coconut shells to store rain water. I used broken rocks as knives to cut, and collected branches from trees to make ropes to build a home.

It was a tough year. I haven't been speaking to anyone since. I was getting lonely and depressed, and at times started talking to myself. Do I have schizophernia ? I'm not sure, but it sures cut the bore out of me.

I knew that I was going to be on this island for a long long time, and I better prepare for the worst to come. I didn't want to die here, and had people I wanted to see. The people I love. The people I adore, and the people that I want to be with. I had to survive. No matter what. I built rescue signs, massive fires and etc. However, it has been a hard 1 year since I saw any plane nor ship. But I never gave up.....

Chapter 5 - Reminisence

At night, I tend to be weak in mind and heart. I start to wonder what my loved ones are doing, and why haven't they ask a search rescue for me. Have they thought that I was dead. Did they forget about me already? What happened to them?

I have long forgotten the touch of a woman.... I have long taste the bitterness of grounded coffee... I have long felt love from anyone. I'm all alone. Ever so alone. Alone that is scares me sometimes. So scared, that I wonder would I probably be the only person in this world.....

"Where is everyone? Where are you guys? Find me... please..."

Chapter 6 - The End

Decades have passed... I have long been forgotten. Here I lay in the sand of time, covered in dust and specks of sands. Here I lie, and never to move again. I sacrificed it all. To survive, I believed in my self. I believe and kept on believing. Although I know I'm going, my tracks would be left embedded in the sand. Never to forget, never would be forgotten.

I have moved on and learn. Accepting the fact that I would never be found, and ever to be forgotten....

Chapter 7 - Conclusion

As I was slowing drifting to unconsciousness, I kept believing. Never to give up. Not till the very last second of a heart beat. As I was to move on, a spark of light suddenly shun upon the high blue sky. It was so bright, that it felt like a thousand sun. It was blinding .....I couldn't see.... what has happened.....

As I start to awake, a blurry picture of a person resembling my love appeared. I could hear her voice. I could smell her odour. It was coming clear....it was her. It was my love.... where was I? What happened ?

"My Love......(i smiled), you found me...."

A week later I was told that I was in a comma for years. I was involved in an accident and was considered as good as dead. But my love, never gave up on me, and kept me going. She believed in me. She never left me. She had always known I would never give up. She waited.......

It was the first time in my life, that I feel loved. I cherish the moment and will never forget what I been through. I felt happy that I had never give up. Never giving up my life. Never giving up believing in my loved one. I made it through, and it was through this believe that brought me here today.

So don't give up and continue to survive. The path of survival is nothing more than an imaginative journey which tries to bring you down. Continue on this journey, and it will make you stronger. Its hard physically, emotionally and mentally. But at the end, you will find true happiness in a realised end.

The Pursuit of Happiness

2008-01-29T05:09:00.000-08:00

In an ideal world, every child would have a happy childhood; a memorable teenage life; an excellent job; a perfect counter-part; forever lasting parents and ultimately no worries in life.

In reality, a person's life is never perfect. People who are born in this world, bears a certain responsibility to the world. It is their fate, and their destiny, to uphold such responsibility to not only the society, but to themselves.

Now close your eyes and ponder..... who are you responsible to?
Just yourself or another?

In our early ages of life, we tend to think of ourselves more often than we do. It is unavoidable as there is nothing to protect nor care for in our life except ourselves then. It is when we grow older do we start to realize that there are more to life than our little world of ours. We can't neglect the fact that there are people who we need to care for and people who awaits our support. We as individuals have to play our part and responsibility in trying to provide those without expecting anything back. This is a heavy responsibility. And at times, it defeats us in many circumstances. However, it is because of a certain sense of responsibility that we overlook at those times of sadness and overcome it with a heart of pride and joy.

As a person myself, I too have my own little requirements in life. Things that I can accept and things I cannot. However, not everyone is similar to us. Others have their own little perspective in life. Why can't we be open about one another requirements and live with compromise. All I can do sometimes is be patient. I have a responsibility not only for one life, but a number. I never complain when things get rough. I never retreat nor change my principle. We as a person only can give so much. Its not selfish, its not injustice, its the way it is. I have a responsibility. I dont have a perfect family, I dont have a wealthy one either. All I have is a will to uphold my responsibility in order to keep everyone happy. At times, I do breakdown. I can't uphold this stance forever. For I am still a man who isn't perfect to the eyes of other people or god himself. All I ask from god in every prayer is to give me strength... strength to continue on my journey of joy, pain, love and responsibility, for I am responsible for myself but also to others. I never complain the weight of my burden, nor do I see it as a burden. Its not that I'm being force to do it, its more as I want to.... and the reason why is because.....

of my responsibility of love to the pursuit of happiness in everyone's lives.

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A message from Life of A Normal Guy ~ To those responsible for another, I know its hard, but hanging in there, and let the fruits bear
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The Birth of Life

2007-10-19T04:47:00.000-07:00

Ever wondered what life is all about ?

I would always ponder to myself, and ask the question, " Why are we here ? For what purpose?"...
I could never figure it out. But recently I realize a truth about life and I start to see what's life's all about.

Life, a very fragile thing. Easily diminished, easily reborn, but can never be restored. If one realizes, we only do have only one life to live. In this life we go through stages of youth, and age, and experience that teaches us what life is really about. Every journey that we set in life, has an outcome of results. Be it ended with tears of sadness or smiles of happiness, one can expect to go through a series of chapters in their life that they cannot miss. Its like watching a movie really, but us as the main actors projected in life.

Today is my very special someone's birth day. And as I go through the day, I kept thinking how meaningful this day is to me. Without this historical day, my special someone will never had been born, and will never had I met this special person in my life. She changed my life drastically and guide me to be a better person. She pours a certain affection of love, that sooths my heart, and a certain beauty and cuteness that sips into my love. She is my wife.

When I was in my teenage years, I always thought, there is no difference on whether a person lived or died as it had nothing to do with me. But soon I realize, the presence of a single person can change the world. The presence of a single parent can make a difference to a child, the presence of siblings will help nurture one's personality and solitude view, the presence of president could have lead a country to disaster or peace, and ultimately, the presence of a very special someone in life, can make our lives more meaningful and desirable. That is how precious a person's life is. One life can make a difference, may it be significant for all or some, it still would make a difference to the life of others.

Life is not only to be lead in solitude. A young life will be showered by the love of one's parents, a teenage life will be accompanied by the love of their friends, a couple life will be sharing a love between one another, a parents life will then shower their love to their children and the aging life will be gratifying repaid in love by their children. That is the cycle of life. And that's what life is really about. Its all about experiencing, and growing to learn to be a person in this world. Understand what one's presence could mean for another. If there were no one around, there wouldn't be children to lead the future. If there were no life on earth, it would make no difference to other dead planets around us.

So our lives do make a different. And as individuals of these world, lets us make a difference around us. Let us learn the good and bad, and help those around us. Coz it is the proof of our existence. It is our legacy to leave a name, a good will, a treasured memory to another to so that our lives do a have a meaning in them. Learn from the mistakes and act to benefit not only oneself, but also to others.

Life is beautiful, whether it goes through times of tears and sadness or joy and laughter. Enjoy life as it is, and cherish it every moment through time :)

Peace !

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The Road I Have Traveled

© By Regina J. Broker

The road I have Traveled.
Bridges I have crossed.
I've gone the extra mile,
I've come to many stops.
I had a few road blocks,
toward what I thought,
could be the end.
But had to be brought back
a mile or two again.
So when closure comes,
I do know what it will mean.
I'll finally have peace of mind,
I'll be able to feel,think, and breathe
I probably won't believe it.
I'll think it is all a dream.
And although the journey will have ended.
I'll never forget What I've learned along the way,
or how I learned to take it day by day.

~ A message from Life of a Normal Guy to those who cherish life ~

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Prayer

2007-10-14T22:20:00.000-07:00

One should ask oneself. How often does one pray?
Better still, what does one pray for ?

Throughout all life, people only pray for the things they want. The heed to achieve something in life, yet it seems impossible as an individual that they turn their heads to the one cosmic believe in life, God.

How does one see prayer ? Does a prayer ever get heard by god? Does every prayer get answered in life? One mystery that will never be solved.

Recently I viewed a movie that really touched the meaning of meaningfulness. In that show, the question was asked, " How does God answer a prayer?". I learnt something about a prayer from that movie. The ultimate truth is that God doesn't let any prayer go unanswered. Its just so that it comes in a form that we don't recognize. When a prayer seem to be unanswered, look back and look again. God never answer prayer's of miracles, but rather a more realistic prayer in life. God only helps those who helps themselves. Thus, how does a prayer help, one my ponder...

The truth is, God hears every prayer and gives an opportunity for every one of us to pick up that opportunity. He does not realise a dream through miracles but rather produce a chance, an opportunity for people like us to be able to pursue our dreams and desire. Nothing is impossible, and everything is possible, if you put your heart into it.

I realise that this is true as all my years of living and chasing a dream, nothing seems to come directly to us. It has to be done in some form of hardwork, and given opportunity for something to happen. And that's what a prayer does. When we pray, it does not mean that god will give us that something, but rather, he opens up a window of opportunity to us to try and achieve it. Thus the real meaning of a prayer.

By far, " God only help those who help themselves". Nothing in life comes by chance. All opportunities are given, and how we see those opportunities depends really on how we work towards it. Some might think how miserable one's life can be, or always dread to be better off but one could have never took any initiative to change how things were and expect god to drop a bomb shell in their life. It just doesn't work that way. Controversial for some, but realistic for all.

If you have a prayer or desire, don't be afraid to go after it. A simple prayer from the heart is what you need to start achieving your dream. A journey of a thousand miles starts with the first step. Thus start by praying, and work hard to achieve what you desire. Coz there is nothing more in life to be happy about then being able to go towards something we are looking for in life. May it be a dream or a vision, continue to pray, and the doors of opportunity will come to you :)

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~ God answers all prayer through the doors of opportunities that are abundance in this world ~

A message from Life of A Normal Guy to people out there. Keep up your dreams and never give up!

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Words of Sadness ~ Good Bye

2007-05-26T22:11:00.000-07:00

~Good bye~
Two simple words that trigger tears of unwilling departure.
Simple, yet powerful, its true meaning has always been depressing for a lot of people throughout centuries. In Japanese, words of goodbye is known to be forever. The word "sayonara" has been seen as an eternal departure and an ever lasting good bye that will never end. Ever would one thought why should we say those words as we depart.

I never like the word good bye. It is too depressing and hurtful at times. However, words of good byes are unavoidable. At some point of our lives, we would have to say these words of departure. Not only to a friend, but also to a loved one. Its a cycle in life. We meet and we say good bye. It might not be now, but it maybe soon in the future. Death is the most depressing good bye of them all. And no one can avoid it.

Hence why should we avoid it. It is something we go through in life. It is something one have to speak out when they need to. If you compared to death, regular good byes are just a temporary departure. Don't be despair. Rather than saying good bye, change the words to words of positive effect. "See you later" or "Catch you around" has a different meaning and effect on a person. Those casual sentences gives confidence to one that they will be seeing each other again and not seperated for life. Understand the meaning of good bye and don't be sadden by it, coz if you can't say it now, you might miss the chance saying it in the future.

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"Remember those who left us,
and never forget what they had done;
for we will never know;
shall our path cross and become one, "

A message from Life of A Normal Guy to everyone who needs to say their good-byes

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Happy Mother's Day

2007-05-13T00:21:00.000-07:00

In my younger days, I used to be less courageous and less adventurous. Ask anyone in my family, and they might think I might grow up to be wimp more or less. I never had any spirit or determination in doing anything. Nor did I excel in anything. I was hopeless. An under performing student in a lousy class in a lousy school. I was not notorious nor was I sociable. I was an outcast among everyone. A black sheep among the religious, a loner among society. At time, I felt as though people has given up one me. No one had any confidence in me. My father never had faith in the things I do, and never was I the brightest kid in class. Teachers from academic institutes to religious schools thought I was a no hope. I was hopeless.

It was not because I was lazy. It was not because I didn't want to do my best. It was because I couldn't. I have used all the capacity of my little left over brain and thrived for every inch of intelligence there is in there. Yet I still failed. And failed miserably I did. It stroke me worst, when I was told that regardless of my inability to do anything, it was in hope that I grow up to be a office clerk IF possible. I was devastated. I nearly did believe that I was hopeless and a goner.

I felt a sense of loneliness deep in me. A sense of dis-belonging in the world that I was in. I hated life. I hated everyone's guts and their judgmental perception of a person. Is a person destined to fail from the very beginning of each person's life ? One of the most saddest memories in life was when my father yelled at my mom and said that whatever I do in the future, he doesn't want anything to do with me. As a kid, hearing those words i felt as though I have lost one of my precious loved one in my life. My father was gone in my life. The only person I had was my mother.

My mother, being a sole housewife, she nurtured me and my sibling. Being un-successful in everything I do, she yet still supported me and nurtured me till the very end. It was very touching, as to nurture a failure such as me. Never giving up, and ever bringing me so up. I had no one to cling to in life but her. It was because of her, that I'm still here today as I am. Thank you mom for your ever lasting support and love. I don't think anyone of us couldn't have done it without you.

My mom is a very strong person. Regardless of her husband being overseas most of the time, she still kept the family as one. She nurtured us, brought to school, prepare food, tug us into sleep, and even made an effort to be there for us for every possible occasion. She never had a social life, and never had friends around her. She was always busy with house chores and at times busy with us and our homework. I can never imagine how 1 woman can last that long without her other half. Miraculously, she came through. Thus, she had replaced the lost loved one in my life. She has become the matriarch and patriarch of the family.

It was not long when I enter higher primary years that I started to realize that I can never let her down. I had something to show to everyone. To make my mother proud of something. I wanted the world to know, I'm not useless and that I was my mother's son. I psyched myself to succeed. I changed. I have an entirely different perception in life. I was partly corrupted with the harsh reality of life. I swore deep in me, that I will never ever give up. No matter what.

Being a helpless child then, I now have become some what top of my expectation. There were many roads to how I came this far, but I guess that is for another story and for another day. As this mother day comes by , I want to sincerely thank my mother for sacrificing her energy, time and strength in me. I hope that I have not disappointed her and that I will continue to make her proud, as I want the world to know, I am my mother's son...

Thank you mom for everything !

Love,

Your One and Only Son ~ Benson

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A mother's love is unconditional and her sacrifices to her children are incomprehensible

~ A message from Life Of A Normal Guy to all mothers in the world~

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Love

2005-09-28T05:53:00.000-07:00

Love, a very complicated, yet most wanted hear issue by most people of today. What is love ? How do you see yourself loving someone. How would you judge how deep a love is ? Is it deeper than the bottomless ocean, or further than the everlasting universe ? A person who knows love is a person who cant really explain how love is. Love is not a word or something that comes out from our head but rather an expression of the heart to another. Expressions that are hard to explain. Something so sacred yet bewildering and sensitive to some, love is considered the ultimate experience in life.. I for one, never gave up on love. Love hurted me a lot of time in some years of my 23 yearly life. Walks of life that one should always treasure, and never forget. Thou, I will not reveal all sad memoirs in this passage as some things are better to be left alone and healed by time,I yet still will narate a sort of story that one might be interested to hear. This is the story of B and C.

It was a cold evening night, the steps of silence ran through B's mind in the hall that was ever so chilling. So dull, so meaningless. "Why oh why, do thy have to come. Why oh why", shouted in his mind. B never liked coming to the grounds of education. It was a hectic yet tiring place to be. Down the hall way as B walked, grined in disgust at the door at the end of the path. A slight push without a beep, and there B saw the most inspired yet attractive thing he shall ever see. It was C.

Never would have B thought that the transcendent of such an angel would brighten up the gloomy environment fill with stress and work. B never laid his eyes off C. Nevertheless, shy as B may be, B once pledge to dedicate his limited time to the performance of work and studies, and not invest on another person's heart. B, sitting down from a far, started his work. Soon later, destiny was meant to be, when the acquaintance of B introduced C to him. C heard of the name B. From all his kindness to naugti-ness, was B the popular one in her ? B never knew, but was ever so attracted yet surprised to hear those words from her. A week later, B and C got closer by the day talking on phones and frequent visits. B had already fell for this girl. B wasn't the type who trust love at first sight, but believed it was the feel at that moment.

However, B knew C had someone else in her heart. Depressed in a very complicated way, B didn't really made any progress but worsen the relationship they had. B was an idiot. He was good with people, yet did faults to someone he actually liked a lot. C was on a verge of breaking hearts shall thou thy apart. B never took advantage of it, instead B supported C. Hoping for the best and was always with her if possible.

B did a lot of stupid things that one may think for C, even before they got acquainted as one. B without a vehicle, once bought a warm bowl of porridge for C. It was not much but it was all B could do to make C her day. The funny thing was, B never thought of how he was going to get back after delivery. B nearly walked that night..... that cold cold lonely night. All for the sake of C's porridge, which worthed B's every while. B even walked all the way around city to find the lovable tickets that C wanted to so much. Without hesitation, B did all for her. Why you might ask, it is probably becoz B has fallen for her.

Kept in secrets in between them and others, no one knew B's movement in life. Nor his best friends or pals suspected B. Everything was going great. Nevertheless, every wonderful story would always come to a pause. B was on C. But C could never let go of what was used to be hers. B couldn't help but listen and then dread in pain, as the worst misses in the world would be missing someone beside you and knowing that you will never get them. "Oh, how cruel of a life this would be"

B realised that C needed time. A lot more time. B was not the person for her then. B was never meant to replaced the irreplacable then.B paused. Drove himself out of the fantasy he was in and back to reality. Time passed, C seldom heard from B anymore. Until that particular moon cake festival day. B saw the bright moon light, sitting alone in Guyatt Park, he suddenly thought of C. C was never forgotten, but was always on B's mind. But B was a fool, and was discouraged by the acts of C. But on that bright big moon light. B suddenly was urged by the presence of a soul. B knew he had to message C. B knewhis phone was empty, and sighed in vain. But then he tried anyway, saying the last few words before departure and good byes, he messaged her.... Whether the message was sent through or not, B didn't dare to know. All he know was that he sent it to her, and let faith of destiny decide. C didn't reply.

On the night before C departed, C received a message from B. It was the message that B sent that night few weeks ago. C was puzzled at first but then was amazed, as the message just reached her just before she left. I guess, destiny didn't want B and C to depart withouth saying a good bye. On the day where bygons shall be bygons and sadness rains on saying good bye, C called B out for one last time. It was a memoriable time. And it was that time and message that B and C started out. Nevertheless, C was still bottomless in feelings for the past, and B understood it well, thus B never made a move and said their goodbyes.

Now, in the presence of distant and obstacles, funny enough, a full bloom relationship was developed between B and C. How did it happen, well, that's something you have to ask B and C personally. But all goes to one word, love.

The power of love was so strong, that it attracted two individual apart from each other to even develop a stronger relationship than those aside. The love was strong then but have no guarantees it will be strong in the future. Still B and C gave each other a chance. A go in life, to be together in the future and forever more. B never regretted what he has done. C doesn't too. Neither does. B and C believed that as two hearts in love comes together, everything is possible in a lifetime. Just for the record, the number of times broken up issues were raised in the past months was enormous. Obstacles came and go, yet B and C still stands.

Doubt it as you may. Some people might not tend to believe. Some say, its hard enough to maintain a relationship by long distant, what more is it far complicated to develop one with the darn distant? Its hard to believe yes, but it did happened. B and C met up in holidays and were one ever since. The future is undetermined, both bother not, but continue loving each other as the there is no future tommorow.

I see it as love, do you ?

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It does not take long to give up on hurt, but a lot to start to love
~ A message from Life Of A Normal Guy to all couples in love~

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Love

Heaven and Hell

2005-04-16T23:39:00.000-07:00

Life and Death

What is life without death ? And what is death without life ? For every life lost, they is always a new life born. When the dead is sent away, a new baby is born and delivered on that very day as well. I read lots of books and also articles about life and death. Ever since I was a kid, I was always curious to what life have to offer, and why death is imminent to all. I always wondered what is the purpose of life as we will die one day. My mother as a dedicated buddisht told me the words of the buddha about life and death. What I knew didn't aligned much with what it was said or preached to me. I had a new mentality, a new idea. I had a new vision and perspective towards life.

People of all walks of life comes and knocks on my question door of life. " Benson, how do you see life ? ". A word I can represent life, "Beautiful". Life has been and always beautiful. The interesting part about life is not what it is all about, but more the experience to go through about. In buddhism, the aim in life for those who believe in them are usually trying to reach enllightenment or nirvana, where they will reach a stage where they will not feel anything. No remorse, no pain, no happiness, just absolute nothingness. I feel sorry for those who want to go through that kind of life. To me, experiencing pain, love, happiness, sorrow, is all about life. Without it, there is no meaning to life. How can one know happiness when one has not taste sadness. And life gives all of that. A package to feel all. To know and differentiate everything. When you start to know, you will enjoy life overall.

And as I continue on, some would ask me, what about death. " Aren't you afraid of death ?" some might ask. To me, death is nothing more than a transition of consciousness from one being to another. The physical body will die, but the spirit and soul inside me will always remain forever. I admit, I too am afraid of death, but not because I'm afraid of dying, but afraid of not be able to see anymore what the world has to offer in terms of experience. There is so much to life. Don't be confined to only certain things in life, be more active, get out and experience it. The love, the joy, the happiness, the good and also the bad of all things in life. Thus only then we will learn. To learn what is right and wrong in our context of understanding towards the meaning of life. Some of my friends found meanings through God. Some found the meaning through families. Some even through their work. All are satisfied, all are convinced that there is more to life than there it is to expect. For me, I'm the architect who likes to observe how life goes. A true meaning of life for me is to understand how life works. How the mind takes place in decisions. How emotions changes things. How believe becomes the foundation of all man. And I continue on pursuing these knowledge by living it day by day. No regrets, no thinking twice. As I know who I am and what I need to do. We can never know everything in one lifetime, as a wise person will not say he the wise and perfect, yet would declare himself still as a student of life.I wish to be that student. Wise I do not declare myself to be, but determined to know I can say I am.

Heaven And Hell

Then words of angels and devils would later fall upon me. Thus people would ask, " Aren't you afraid of going to hell ?". As I looked into their eyes, I tell them, " Thy shall I be thrown to hell becoz of my actions, so do so, as I believe only Satan would do such. But believing, I, in a loving God, he will always love and forgive, as it is said, to err is human, to forgive is divine. And if God is seated at the highest level of divinity, HE shall forgive and bring me to heaven as well." Well hypotethically speaking of course. The words and experession I used above may sound harsh, thus unagreeable to some, but the context to the meaning is completely different. To me, heaven and hell is right here, right now. As humans, we are meant to experience. Heaven and Hell is located right here where the world stands and exists. It is hidden in another dimension called the fourth dimension. Now, where is this 4th dimension some might ask? Some might start thinking of like sci-fiction stuff where we can warp into another dimension and stuff, but no. The fourth dimension I'm talking about exist from within us. Ask yourself, when is your most happiest moment in life ? The day of your graduation ? The baptism of yourself ? The day you met you BF/GF ? The moment you got your first job ? Well, which of this at it may be, remember that feeling. As when you were experiencing that feeling, you are in heaven already. This happiness at that particular moment cannot be replaced by any other feeling in the world at that particular time. Think about it. And when is hell you might ask ? Well, everyone should be clear on this. As it will be your saddest moment in life, where you feel like dying and just felt like the world is never with you. At your most down moment, your in hell. Coz I personally think that psychological or mental torture is even worst than any physical torture the world can offer.

To those born in worlds of wars and guns, a lot would see their life as living hell. Compared to some people who are born with the golden spoon in their mouth from the beginning of time, their lifes are just as in heaven. So think about it, heaven and hell is here. Right here on earth. But you see, how you put yourself in heaven and hell all depends on how u take life. If you appreciate life and enjoy every waking moment of it, then your days of heaven is always there for you to count. If you are pessismistic about life, then life is always a hell for you. Don't this explain the meaning of heaven and hell :) I hope it does, nevertheless, not everyone can graps this concept as it clearly doesn't alligned with any believe out there in the world. New age some might say ? Well frankly speaking, I have thought about all this before the new age subject came out to my sense of knowledge.

The Beginning and The End

The beginning of all. The birth of life. Some believe in Darwins' theory. Some believe in Adam and Eve. Some believe in ALIENS even !! Well, to me, I dont' find any worth knowing. I have lots of idea on the begining and i can tell u a whole night stories about them, but it doesn't really matter. Coz to me, what is important is now. I don't have keen interest in history, and frankly speaking, i suck at it !. I can never comprehend how learning from the dead can ever be a lesson in school. Historians and also school teachers would tell you to always learn from the past. When my history teacher was talking about the hitler's army wave of invasion. She would tell us not to learn from Hitler. I did tell my teacher once, and said, " If I were Adolf Hitler now, I would have done the same, thus leading my name to history." Now ask yourself, if you were adolf hitler would you have done the same ? Or any politican today will do the same ? Think about it. History tends to repeat itself. There is no cure for it. If the fickle finger of fate happens to let you be involve in this repeatance, you can't do a single thing about it. So, why bother I would ask sometimes. Knowing is one thing, but trying to avoid it is another. Man are man, and shall man err once again.

" What about the end ? The Nostrodamus prophecy ? The Judgement Day ? ". The end is also a very controversial topic in today's world. But again, I don't want to express my opinions on them as it can take days to discuss about it. But what I can say, I only appreciate life NOW. What is past is past, and what the future have to offer, I'm eager to wait and see. All in all, I guess what matters most is now. The past is done and all gone, no point looking back, the future is yet to come, so many uncertainties, no point planning so much. So just sit back, enjoy, and relax with what life has to offer. Don't restrict yourself and enjoy life !!

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A note from The Life of A Normal Guy, be free, don't restrict and be happy. Coz there is no greater happiness in life than knowing that your are ;)

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SunShine Coast

2005-04-03T09:12:00.000-07:00

Saturday
2nd April 2005

12 Am- Midnight
Went out with my friends to have a couple of drink. We chatted for almost like a couple of hours before pursuing back to my humble abode. Mike, Bonnie, Lum, and Ivy was there. We talked about how much of a good time we could have if they all come visited me and Lum in Malaysia. I'm sure it will be a wonderous trip together if they come. They can always stay my place, anytime ! Very tiring but was indeed a good time.

3AM - After Midnight
Came back from our drinks, was a bit tired, and hesitated to online. Looking at the time, I knew I had to hit the sack before I wake up at 7 am again for the SunShine trip. ~ Blackedout ~

7 AM - Day Break
Dawn came. I had to wake up. I hear the alarm of my phone call out. As though it was the end of the world. I had to wake up. It was 7 am ! Alvin would be here by 7.50 AM. I kep telling myself, I had to wake up, if not I'll miss the trip. Thinking of all the fun I'm going to have and also the idea of not going to work that night, really sparked me up. I got up, took a bath, styled my hair, dressed up ~ And mwala ! A fresh Benson is born. I got ready and placed all brought along things in my bag, and I was on my way.... to SUNSHINE COAST !

7.50 AM - Alvin Came
Alvin came at approximately 7.50 AM to pick me up. I thought that they would all gather at my place before heading off, but it seems, I was the first one they picked up. I saw everyone there, as per normal, all suprised to see me in my act cool, strange outfit. Hahaha, well, what can I say, I just like to make a scene. Hahaha. ANyway, everyone greeted me a good morning, and off we went to SunShine Coast !!!

9.00 AM - Travel
When we were travelling, I notice one of the cars as a FTO !! I can't believe it. When I watched the car from behind, it reminds me of the Initial D yellow FTO car. And the best part of it was, the FTO driving on the road in front of me was yellow as well ! Can't believe it, it is as though I was in a race behind the FTO in the Initial D chapters. The worst and painful experience looking at the FTO was having the thought of not me inside riding the FTO. Hahaha, well, that's life. But it was sure a wonder and a first to see a 11 year old FTO in such a good condition.

(Just a note for those who do not know FTO, if you seen initial D, it is the yellow car, if you haven't seen it, FTO is just like style sports car - freakin cio !)

10.00 AM - Breakfast

We came to our first stop at a cliff near the green glass house area. It was a spectacular view. The hills were very unique, as though those in Ipoh. Too bad, not everyone is from Ipoh, or not, the hills will be all not too familiar to them all. We sat at a small place together and had our nice breakfast there. It was fun talking and meeting new people who we haven't met. It was always a great activity hanging out in tours as this ;). I kindda like it really.

12.00 PM - Lunch
Before we had lunch, we went to stop by a place near, well I don't know where. Somewhere I guess. They had a lot of small funny funny shops which I consider quiet cute. There were candle shops, chocolate shop, and also a game shop ! Browsing through the game shop, I realised I have found the game board of my dream ~ CashFlow ~. But it costs 345 AUD. Its very expensive, and I think I can afford to buy it :(. I wished I had that kind of money, but too bad I don't. Well, alls well, and ends well. We had our lunch as a picnic gathering beside the lake. Wonderful place ;) I love it !

4.00 PM - At The Beach

By 4 PM, we were already at the beach. Having fun, running around. Nevertheless, the one thing that pissed me off was that I didn't bring an extra clothes coz I wasn't inform that we were going to the beach -_-...................... so i couldn't have maximum fun. But still had fun ;). Unfortunately, in the process, I broke my glasses. It was a heartache. I couldn't see, I was blinded, and I hated it ! I hate being not able to see. It is as though, I have been teleported into another world. Everything seemed so blur to me. I really don't quiet get used to it. But I hadn't have a choice, I had to go on without my glasses.

6 PM - Hungry Jacks
By 6 pm, we were back at Taringa, Hungry Jacks. Most of us, had our dinner there. We had a lot of fun, and it was time for a great meal ! I took out all the vouchers I had, and shared them with all my friends ;). It was great meal. Paul said he would eat a double cheese burger in 2 bites, well, guess what, he didn't made it. Hahaha ! It was really a good try though, and Rayson did it in 2 bites with a smaller hamburger. Sorry guys, I didn't want to bring the issue up, but your performance all was really astonishingly funny. Even the guy next table were laughing at us. What can I say, we all had fun.

8.00 PM - Grace College
After a fun and filling dinner, we then went to Grace College to have some indoor sports fun. We played pool and table tennis. It was nice ;). I never thought I could practice pool until that night. I improved my skills for a bit, and I think I'm getting better at it. 3 Guys 4 girls competition you would say, but its not the winning that counts, it was having fun ;). It was a fun time, I even had a game of checkers there.

12 AM - The Next Day
Thanks to Rayson, I was back again at my lonely unit apartment. I smiled to myself and thank god for such a wonderful trip. Thanks for the wonderful experience. Even though, I broke my glasses, which by the way gonna cost me a bundle, but I wouldn't miss the experience for the world. As I slowly doze off to the middle of the silent night, in my heart I then pray and thank someone upthere for giving me a chance to experience all that I experience today. Wish you all a million thanks and a well good nite.

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A diary blog from a Life of A Normal Guy, in sharing the experience to all out there who wishes to experience. Shall you all have faith in your own life, and thou shall you experience ~

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Everything is Possible

2005-04-02T06:39:00.000-08:00

"Are you sure Benson. I'm sure you can find a better job back at home. Come back Malaysia, forget the Australian PR. I'm sure a job in Malaysia is not as bad, it might not be the best paying salary of course, but it is a valuable working experience. Why not come back and try your luck, then later transfer to overseas and earn the same amount of experience ?", an anonymous person said to me.

"Sorry, I don't find any logic in going back and collecting low pays. I wanna try my luck here. We must all look at the long term plan and not the short term. The worst thing I would waste is my time, if I fail to do so. But, being in Australia is one chance. A path of hundreds of possibility to my life. I believe I need to take that chance. I don't want to be in a dream where everyone is chasing the same thing and same goals, where it can be practically be impossible if there is a mass of people who are applying that concept in the same field. If I stay in Aus, and work here, I would automatically gain international working experience. And still be able to go back Malaysia anytime.", replied me in a very confident manner.

"Well, its up to you. Its your life. Your decision. But, I don't think Aus would not even let you stand a chance.", an anonymous reply.

" I believe I can............!", confidently i replied.

Everything is possible my friend, nothing in the world is impossible. As long as there is a will, there is always a way. Why not take every opportunity that comes into your way, and make the best of it. Nothing is impossible. The first step to failure is to admit failure even before trying it. Why Why ? Why are people like that ?

Long ago, man never thought they would ever step out of the earth atmosphere, and alas man really did when the first man stepped onto the moon. Before this, I never thought I would even make it out to secondary 5. When I was young, I really had no faith nor confidence in what I do. Coz failure was a part that surrounded me at that time. As I grew in a different environment, I started to understand. I started to believe in my capabilities when I got the 1st place in school. I started to believe I can do anything when I conquered my no.1 nightmare, studying.

I hate studying. In a matter of fact, people always regard me in being very good at it. I hate it actually. But, how can a non-like study person be an oversea graduate today in one of the best Uni in Aust ? Well the answer was simple. I believe in myself. I have faith in everything I do. And most of all, believe that everything is possible, and do it till the end. Even if it kills me, i will still stick to this believe. This believe of possibility has taken me far and wide. With believe, I have seen all possibilities, and overcome an issue of being defeated. I never admit defeat until I really tried it. Everything is possible. Even if I cannot do it, I will learn to do it. I believe I have every skill I need to master anything. God has given me a brain to think, a body to act, and a soul to motivate.

Everything is possible. Follow the words of a person with wisdom and believe, and shun those who has low esteem and disbelieve in themselves. Thus I quote "The Four Level Of Wisdom"

"The man who knows and knows he knows is wise. Follow Him.

The man who knows and knows not he knows is asleep. Wake Him.

The man who knows not and knows he knows not is a student. Guide Him.

The man who knows not be knows not is a fool. Shun Him. "

Do you Believe ?

2005-03-31T05:45:00.000-08:00

What do you believe ?
Do you believe in miracles ? Do you believe in God ? Do you believe in the ones you love ?
When you are lost, or in need, who do you beleive in ?
A lot of ppl just like me, have a tendency to give up "believes" in a lot of things. Reality has really shown us its true colour of survival and the ugliness in life. Not everything in life is as pretty as it may seem. Everything is just a beautiful cover of what is really much uglier behind those covers. But what can we do about it ? We can't, we only have to continue living in this society of parade.
In younger days, a lot of us were believers and also dreamers. But as one by one grows up, the innocence of a person is no more, and they will start to lose their believe. As time goes by, we get dissapointed even more by those who we believe and trust.

For me, I have given up in believing in lots of things. As a child, I came to believe in lots of stuff. I believed in the magic of miracles. I believe in the goodness in people. I believe in the purity of love. I believe in the beauty of the world. But, reality can sometimes be devastating to a child. And now, as I grow up, I start to lose believe in lots of things. But one thing I shall never lose believe in, is believing in myself. I still believe the world is still a beautiful place, as in I believe myself it is. And it is. I still believe that love can be pure, and as I believe in it myself, I still believe it. I believe there is still goodness in people, as in I believe it in myself.

Confused ? Well, lets put it this way, externally, I don't believe in lots of things, but believing in myself is something I have faith in. And invested in me, i believe in myself. Myself who believe dreams can come true. Myself who believes everything is possible, and myself who believes the boundless possibilities of everything. Thus, I believe in myself.

There were times, i really loss faith and believe in myself. But I came through. Yesterday, I watched a movie called the Polar Express. I was really touched in its meaningful story. Believing is an important part in life. Believing in something is a crucial thing. It is the foundation of everything. And by believing in something, you would have everything you need. Believe in what you feel inside, and your dreams will give you the wings to fly. It doesn't matter whether you believe in God. It doesn't matter if you believe in life. It doesn't matter if you believe in someone you love. Most importantly believe in what you yourself really believe in. And thus you will see a much beautiful world then expected.

Believe, my friends. Its something you can do anytime, anywhere. Dont lose your believe in the those you love. Don't lose your believe in God. And never ever lose believe in yourself. Move forward, and just believe ~

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A message from Life of A Normal Guy to all those believer out there. Continue to beleive, and your dreams will grant you wings.
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I'm Back Online

2005-03-29T08:43:00.000-08:00

It was a trecharous thing. It came unexpectedly. It was a leech. A menace. It made me waste my day doing nothing. It was a Bug in the IE explorer !
For so long, I haven't have this problem, but when it hit me, I didn't even know it. What the hell was I thinking.

It was on that cold night. That I got a word around the net street. A stalker and leechers was around. It cnever struck me, that I was leeched !!. God How much time I have wasted. How much precious information I have loss. It was disastrous. And the worse thing was I didn't know about it before. I blamed others for this trecherous leech, but it was I who attracted it. And on this cold night, I have fought 2 hard hours thinking. Thinking how to outrun this leech menace which was on my tail. It was hard, it was threatening, and most of all a waste of my time. Alas after hours of exploring all possibilities and probabilities, alas i found the solution to it. The key registry. It was a hard battle, but I had won the struggle between me and the leech. Damn the IE leech. Thank God, i was safe from it.

Now in this cold and silent night. As I defeated the leecher, I sat in front of my computer. Thinking. Having a sip of hot cocoa drink, I wonder.... I stood up, walked to the balcony, and sigh in relief and told myself. It was a tought fight. But I got through ~ Lame as it may be, but still it was a success from within.

As I stood under the silent night, i looked up in the sky, and said, "Well, that's a day's work. Time for me to go to bed.". As I stepped into the room, i feel as though the leecher is still out there. Ready and waiting for his next victim. I can only pray that the next victim wil be alright.
May God Bless Him ~

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A message from Life of A Normal Guy, may those infected victims be alright and find
peace in the world wide web. Amen ~
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The Stars

2005-03-28T08:30:00.000-08:00

Another boring day from life of a normal guy.
I looked up the stars and always wondered how big the universe can be, its a miracle that God created such a large roof on top of us. Never ever I have doubts that there might be more living creatures out there. I remember in the past there found prove of existance of life on planet Pluto. Some kind of living creature which could stand the temperature under sub-zero. Amazing aint it. Whether it is true or not, I believe there is.

The Universe, so big, that in the past, people usually represent it as the heavens for the Gods. Today even astronomy has taken place to predict the lives of people just by looking the positioning of the stars. I believe it can.

Scientist even found out a new energy matter which compounded space. It was refered to as the dark energy. It is known as the dark matter that surrounds the universe as its particle, which was in opposite direction of the gravity energy force. I believe it is true.

So many possibilities.

When I was young, I used to pray up to the Gods up in the sky. The night skies and sparkling bright stars were the focus of my prayer. Everyday I looked up and told myself, I will prevail one day. And alas, that day has come. I still beleive in the Gods up in the stars, and still wish under the same stars everyday and time. Coz I believe in them.

Coz the only thing I can do is believe. To have faith in something is a very powerful thing. Same goes for the story of "Pinnochio". Where a wodden boys dream finally come true. We too can have our dreams come true. All you need to do is beleive. Believe in the stars, believe in the Gods you cherish most and your most desired dreams will come true.

So on a starry night, look up, close your eyes, and pray.....

" Star light, star bright, your're the first stars tonight. I wish I may I wish I might I wish that I may wish tonight............................."

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A dedication from A Life of A Normal Guy, to the gods who watches over us from
afar. ~ Believe in them we shall ~
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2005-03-27T03:51:00.000-08:00

Great Ocean Road

童话故事里(tong hua gu shi li) - Inside a Fairy Tale

2005-03-26T18:41:00.000-08:00

In a fairy tale, there is always a story to be told. A story so true, yet so mythical. Nevertheless, the story always ends with a happy ending. Have you ever asked yourself, maybe the story can be true ?

In life, people always disregard a fairy tales to be unreal, especially in cases of happy endings. You often hear people say, "Well, that only works in the fairy tale, in reality....."

Thus I ask the question, how would one know how reality has already written for another ? Fairy tales and stories are written by authors. And as in our lives, we write our "tales" in another way. Some people believe that our lives has been written by someone upthere. Some don't even believe that there is even someone upthere. But, remember this, life is just like a book with blank pages, we write those tales ourselves. Nevertheless, how we write them, will show others how we live our life ? Happily ? or just plain Disastrous depending on how you write the "tale". Here, the expression in the "tale" depends on how you perceive your life. Happiness is an abstract thing extracted from our hearts. It cannot just be there for you, you have to create it. Created to bring happiness not only to you, but to everyone around you.

And when you create your own tale of happiness, one day shall you look back, and read the tale again to your children and grandchildren. And smile. Thinking that, what you have gone through can you now share your experience to the ones you love most. That will be the most beautiful fairy tale ever written in ones life. So make the best out of it. Don't give up because you think that life has control over you, don't give because you think god is trying to be unfair to you, don't give up because you think everythings is predestined. We need to strive for what its worth. There is no easy way out. If the tough gets going, smile and conquer it. No matter what the outcome is, you will find yourself in a state of fulfillment and happiness.

Thus, i invite everyone to listen to the song as titled above. It is a love song nevertheless, but it is very meaningful, at least to me. The last sentence is something meaningful that I think everyone should learn from it. It goes.....

"......一起写我们的结局" ( Together we write our ending)

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Another blog from The Life of A Normal Guy to everyone out there. May God
Bless you all, and find happiness from within.

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2005-03-25T19:35:00.000-08:00

God Pls Help

Dr? or Engineer ?

2005-03-25T13:36:00.000-08:00

It always occurs to be why should one be a Dr ? I never thought of getting such a high post nor being called that. But on the other hand, with a chance of being a Dr, why become a worker ? Isn't it confusing ? Why be a Dr ? Why not "be" a Dr, rather than a worker. Ok, stop with the mind twisting. I guess decisions are hard to make sometimes. I'm really in a dilemma. I really can't choose between them. I can't imagine myself to be called Dr.Heng, yet I cannot visualize myself to be working forever under an engineering position for the rest of my life. Where is it going wrong ? Choices are there, but I cannot make the decisions. Why why why ? This is what my supervisor told me in choice and regards to become a doctorate:

Supervisor: Oh, come in Benson. Sorry, I've been busy these few weeks recently, please come in
Me : Hi sir, am I bothering you ?

Supervisor: Oh not at all, please please do come in, have a seat and lets talk.

Me : Sir we need to talk about the offer u are giving to me. Tell me what is the prospects of obtaining a doctorate degree in engineering. ? How long is the project duration ? And what is the project all about ?

Supervisor: Well Benson, first things first. I choose you not because of your results but more to I my confidence and believe that you can. Your 3 months performance in the Uni as a Research Assistant has shown tremendous results, and I believe with your abilities you can complete this project with success. I cannot guarantee you a completion of the Phd project in two years, but I can assure you, you are capable of it. The project is practically a power control system based on non-linearities which you can know more on your research. It may seem very complex at first, but it is very simple actually. With your analytical skills, you are just right for the job.

Me : Seriously, sir. You really think I can do it?

Supervisor: Don't worry Benson. Take the offer. It is one of the largest schoalrship that the Uni can ever offer to someone. I'm sure you'll do fine. The project is incooperated with another 2 more Phd students based in NTU, Singapore. Who knows, you might be able to fly to Singapore and also have a vacation back to Malaysia, all under the expenses of the University. Your a brilliant guy Benson, and if you can complete in 2 years, I'm pretty sure, you are able to go to MIT in the USA. Its a good opportunity since you are paid highly to study it.

Me : Well, sir. You are right, but still is it possible to extend the due date to April, I need some time to think about it carefully. I know it is a bit much to ask, but I really hope you can give me that time.

Supervisor: Not a problem Benson ! I already extended it myself. I know your difficulties, but I hope to hear from you the good news !

Me : Thanks sir for your support, I will get back to you ASAP. See you around !

Supervisor: Cheers mate !

Decisions decisions decisions. Should I take the offer ? Or should I shun it and obtain working experience ? What do you think ? Stupid question for all of you brilliant ppl out there. Voice out your opinions. Tell me !!! I'm already lost.

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A single message from the Life of a Normal Guy to all the angels and saviours out there.
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