Heaven and Hell

Life and Death

What is life without death ? And what is death without life ? For every life lost, they is always a new life born. When the dead is sent away, a new baby is born and delivered on that very day as well. I read lots of books and also articles about life and death. Ever since I was a kid, I was always curious to what life have to offer, and why death is imminent to all. I always wondered what is the purpose of life as we will die one day. My mother as a dedicated buddisht told me the words of the buddha about life and death. What I knew didn't aligned much with what it was said or preached to me. I had a new mentality, a new idea. I had a new vision and perspective towards life.

People of all walks of life comes and knocks on my question door of life. " Benson, how do you see life ? ". A word I can represent life, "Beautiful". Life has been and always beautiful. The interesting part about life is not what it is all about, but more the experience to go through about. In buddhism, the aim in life for those who believe in them are usually trying to reach enllightenment or nirvana, where they will reach a stage where they will not feel anything. No remorse, no pain, no happiness, just absolute nothingness. I feel sorry for those who want to go through that kind of life. To me, experiencing pain, love, happiness, sorrow, is all about life. Without it, there is no meaning to life. How can one know happiness when one has not taste sadness. And life gives all of that. A package to feel all. To know and differentiate everything. When you start to know, you will enjoy life overall.

And as I continue on, some would ask me, what about death. " Aren't you afraid of death ?" some might ask. To me, death is nothing more than a transition of consciousness from one being to another. The physical body will die, but the spirit and soul inside me will always remain forever. I admit, I too am afraid of death, but not because I'm afraid of dying, but afraid of not be able to see anymore what the world has to offer in terms of experience. There is so much to life. Don't be confined to only certain things in life, be more active, get out and experience it. The love, the joy, the happiness, the good and also the bad of all things in life. Thus only then we will learn. To learn what is right and wrong in our context of understanding towards the meaning of life. Some of my friends found meanings through God. Some found the meaning through families. Some even through their work. All are satisfied, all are convinced that there is more to life than there it is to expect. For me, I'm the architect who likes to observe how life goes. A true meaning of life for me is to understand how life works. How the mind takes place in decisions. How emotions changes things. How believe becomes the foundation of all man. And I continue on pursuing these knowledge by living it day by day. No regrets, no thinking twice. As I know who I am and what I need to do. We can never know everything in one lifetime, as a wise person will not say he the wise and perfect, yet would declare himself still as a student of life.I wish to be that student. Wise I do not declare myself to be, but determined to know I can say I am.

Heaven And Hell

Then words of angels and devils would later fall upon me. Thus people would ask, " Aren't you afraid of going to hell ?". As I looked into their eyes, I tell them, " Thy shall I be thrown to hell becoz of my actions, so do so, as I believe only Satan would do such. But believing, I, in a loving God, he will always love and forgive, as it is said, to err is human, to forgive is divine. And if God is seated at the highest level of divinity, HE shall forgive and bring me to heaven as well." Well hypotethically speaking of course. The words and experession I used above may sound harsh, thus unagreeable to some, but the context to the meaning is completely different. To me, heaven and hell is right here, right now. As humans, we are meant to experience. Heaven and Hell is located right here where the world stands and exists. It is hidden in another dimension called the fourth dimension. Now, where is this 4th dimension some might ask? Some might start thinking of like sci-fiction stuff where we can warp into another dimension and stuff, but no. The fourth dimension I'm talking about exist from within us. Ask yourself, when is your most happiest moment in life ? The day of your graduation ? The baptism of yourself ? The day you met you BF/GF ? The moment you got your first job ? Well, which of this at it may be, remember that feeling. As when you were experiencing that feeling, you are in heaven already. This happiness at that particular moment cannot be replaced by any other feeling in the world at that particular time. Think about it. And when is hell you might ask ? Well, everyone should be clear on this. As it will be your saddest moment in life, where you feel like dying and just felt like the world is never with you. At your most down moment, your in hell. Coz I personally think that psychological or mental torture is even worst than any physical torture the world can offer.

To those born in worlds of wars and guns, a lot would see their life as living hell. Compared to some people who are born with the golden spoon in their mouth from the beginning of time, their lifes are just as in heaven. So think about it, heaven and hell is here. Right here on earth. But you see, how you put yourself in heaven and hell all depends on how u take life. If you appreciate life and enjoy every waking moment of it, then your days of heaven is always there for you to count. If you are pessismistic about life, then life is always a hell for you. Don't this explain the meaning of heaven and hell :) I hope it does, nevertheless, not everyone can graps this concept as it clearly doesn't alligned with any believe out there in the world. New age some might say ? Well frankly speaking, I have thought about all this before the new age subject came out to my sense of knowledge.

The Beginning and The End

The beginning of all. The birth of life. Some believe in Darwins' theory. Some believe in Adam and Eve. Some believe in ALIENS even !! Well, to me, I dont' find any worth knowing. I have lots of idea on the begining and i can tell u a whole night stories about them, but it doesn't really matter. Coz to me, what is important is now. I don't have keen interest in history, and frankly speaking, i suck at it !. I can never comprehend how learning from the dead can ever be a lesson in school. Historians and also school teachers would tell you to always learn from the past. When my history teacher was talking about the hitler's army wave of invasion. She would tell us not to learn from Hitler. I did tell my teacher once, and said, " If I were Adolf Hitler now, I would have done the same, thus leading my name to history." Now ask yourself, if you were adolf hitler would you have done the same ? Or any politican today will do the same ? Think about it. History tends to repeat itself. There is no cure for it. If the fickle finger of fate happens to let you be involve in this repeatance, you can't do a single thing about it. So, why bother I would ask sometimes. Knowing is one thing, but trying to avoid it is another. Man are man, and shall man err once again.

" What about the end ? The Nostrodamus prophecy ? The Judgement Day ? ". The end is also a very controversial topic in today's world. But again, I don't want to express my opinions on them as it can take days to discuss about it. But what I can say, I only appreciate life NOW. What is past is past, and what the future have to offer, I'm eager to wait and see. All in all, I guess what matters most is now. The past is done and all gone, no point looking back, the future is yet to come, so many uncertainties, no point planning so much. So just sit back, enjoy, and relax with what life has to offer. Don't restrict yourself and enjoy life !!



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A note from The Life of A Normal Guy, be free, don't restrict and be happy. Coz there is no greater happiness in life than knowing that your are ;)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SunShine Coast

Saturday
2nd April 2005

12 Am- Midnight
Went out with my friends to have a couple of drink. We chatted for almost like a couple of hours before pursuing back to my humble abode. Mike, Bonnie, Lum, and Ivy was there. We talked about how much of a good time we could have if they all come visited me and Lum in Malaysia. I'm sure it will be a wonderous trip together if they come. They can always stay my place, anytime ! Very tiring but was indeed a good time.

3AM - After Midnight
Came back from our drinks, was a bit tired, and hesitated to online. Looking at the time, I knew I had to hit the sack before I wake up at 7 am again for the SunShine trip. ~ Blackedout ~

7 AM - Day Break
Dawn came. I had to wake up. I hear the alarm of my phone call out. As though it was the end of the world. I had to wake up. It was 7 am ! Alvin would be here by 7.50 AM. I kep telling myself, I had to wake up, if not I'll miss the trip. Thinking of all the fun I'm going to have and also the idea of not going to work that night, really sparked me up. I got up, took a bath, styled my hair, dressed up ~ And mwala ! A fresh Benson is born. I got ready and placed all brought along things in my bag, and I was on my way.... to SUNSHINE COAST !

7.50 AM - Alvin Came
Alvin came at approximately 7.50 AM to pick me up. I thought that they would all gather at my place before heading off, but it seems, I was the first one they picked up. I saw everyone there, as per normal, all suprised to see me in my act cool, strange outfit. Hahaha, well, what can I say, I just like to make a scene. Hahaha. ANyway, everyone greeted me a good morning, and off we went to SunShine Coast !!!

9.00 AM - Travel
When we were travelling, I notice one of the cars as a FTO !! I can't believe it. When I watched the car from behind, it reminds me of the Initial D yellow FTO car. And the best part of it was, the FTO driving on the road in front of me was yellow as well ! Can't believe it, it is as though I was in a race behind the FTO in the Initial D chapters. The worst and painful experience looking at the FTO was having the thought of not me inside riding the FTO. Hahaha, well, that's life. But it was sure a wonder and a first to see a 11 year old FTO in such a good condition.

(Just a note for those who do not know FTO, if you seen initial D, it is the yellow car, if you haven't seen it, FTO is just like style sports car - freakin cio !)


10.00 AM - Breakfast

We came to our first stop at a cliff near the green glass house area. It was a spectacular view. The hills were very unique, as though those in Ipoh. Too bad, not everyone is from Ipoh, or not, the hills will be all not too familiar to them all. We sat at a small place together and had our nice breakfast there. It was fun talking and meeting new people who we haven't met. It was always a great activity hanging out in tours as this ;). I kindda like it really.


12.00 PM - Lunch
Before we had lunch, we went to stop by a place near, well I don't know where. Somewhere I guess. They had a lot of small funny funny shops which I consider quiet cute. There were candle shops, chocolate shop, and also a game shop ! Browsing through the game shop, I realised I have found the game board of my dream ~ CashFlow ~. But it costs 345 AUD. Its very expensive, and I think I can afford to buy it :(. I wished I had that kind of money, but too bad I don't. Well, alls well, and ends well. We had our lunch as a picnic gathering beside the lake. Wonderful place ;) I love it !

4.00 PM - At The Beach

By 4 PM, we were already at the beach. Having fun, running around. Nevertheless, the one thing that pissed me off was that I didn't bring an extra clothes coz I wasn't inform that we were going to the beach -_-...................... so i couldn't have maximum fun. But still had fun ;). Unfortunately, in the process, I broke my glasses. It was a heartache. I couldn't see, I was blinded, and I hated it ! I hate being not able to see. It is as though, I have been teleported into another world. Everything seemed so blur to me. I really don't quiet get used to it. But I hadn't have a choice, I had to go on without my glasses.

6 PM - Hungry Jacks
By 6 pm, we were back at Taringa, Hungry Jacks. Most of us, had our dinner there. We had a lot of fun, and it was time for a great meal ! I took out all the vouchers I had, and shared them with all my friends ;). It was great meal. Paul said he would eat a double cheese burger in 2 bites, well, guess what, he didn't made it. Hahaha ! It was really a good try though, and Rayson did it in 2 bites with a smaller hamburger. Sorry guys, I didn't want to bring the issue up, but your performance all was really astonishingly funny. Even the guy next table were laughing at us. What can I say, we all had fun.

8.00 PM - Grace College
After a fun and filling dinner, we then went to Grace College to have some indoor sports fun. We played pool and table tennis. It was nice ;). I never thought I could practice pool until that night. I improved my skills for a bit, and I think I'm getting better at it. 3 Guys 4 girls competition you would say, but its not the winning that counts, it was having fun ;). It was a fun time, I even had a game of checkers there.

12 AM - The Next Day
Thanks to Rayson, I was back again at my lonely unit apartment. I smiled to myself and thank god for such a wonderful trip. Thanks for the wonderful experience. Even though, I broke my glasses, which by the way gonna cost me a bundle, but I wouldn't miss the experience for the world. As I slowly doze off to the middle of the silent night, in my heart I then pray and thank someone upthere for giving me a chance to experience all that I experience today. Wish you all a million thanks and a well good nite.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------

A diary blog from a Life of A Normal Guy, in sharing the experience to all out there who wishes to experience. Shall you all have faith in your own life, and thou shall you experience ~

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Everything is Possible

"Are you sure Benson. I'm sure you can find a better job back at home. Come back Malaysia, forget the Australian PR. I'm sure a job in Malaysia is not as bad, it might not be the best paying salary of course, but it is a valuable working experience. Why not come back and try your luck, then later transfer to overseas and earn the same amount of experience ?", an anonymous person said to me.

"Sorry, I don't find any logic in going back and collecting low pays. I wanna try my luck here. We must all look at the long term plan and not the short term. The worst thing I would waste is my time, if I fail to do so. But, being in Australia is one chance. A path of hundreds of possibility to my life. I believe I need to take that chance. I don't want to be in a dream where everyone is chasing the same thing and same goals, where it can be practically be impossible if there is a mass of people who are applying that concept in the same field. If I stay in Aus, and work here, I would automatically gain international working experience. And still be able to go back Malaysia anytime.", replied me in a very confident manner.

"Well, its up to you. Its your life. Your decision. But, I don't think Aus would not even let you stand a chance.", an anonymous reply.

" I believe I can............!", confidently i replied.

Everything is possible my friend, nothing in the world is impossible. As long as there is a will, there is always a way. Why not take every opportunity that comes into your way, and make the best of it. Nothing is impossible. The first step to failure is to admit failure even before trying it. Why Why ? Why are people like that ?

Long ago, man never thought they would ever step out of the earth atmosphere, and alas man really did when the first man stepped onto the moon. Before this, I never thought I would even make it out to secondary 5. When I was young, I really had no faith nor confidence in what I do. Coz failure was a part that surrounded me at that time. As I grew in a different environment, I started to understand. I started to believe in my capabilities when I got the 1st place in school. I started to believe I can do anything when I conquered my no.1 nightmare, studying.

I hate studying. In a matter of fact, people always regard me in being very good at it. I hate it actually. But, how can a non-like study person be an oversea graduate today in one of the best Uni in Aust ? Well the answer was simple. I believe in myself. I have faith in everything I do. And most of all, believe that everything is possible, and do it till the end. Even if it kills me, i will still stick to this believe. This believe of possibility has taken me far and wide. With believe, I have seen all possibilities, and overcome an issue of being defeated. I never admit defeat until I really tried it. Everything is possible. Even if I cannot do it, I will learn to do it. I believe I have every skill I need to master anything. God has given me a brain to think, a body to act, and a soul to motivate.

Everything is possible. Follow the words of a person with wisdom and believe, and shun those who has low esteem and disbelieve in themselves. Thus I quote "The Four Level Of Wisdom"

"The man who knows and knows he knows is wise. Follow Him.

The man who knows and knows not he knows is asleep. Wake Him.

The man who knows not and knows he knows not is a student. Guide Him.

The man who knows not be knows not is a fool. Shun Him. "